Sometimes birthdays are just weird. On 20th Feb, my birthday was meant to be a day of celebration, but I felt uncertain. The excitement of my promotion mixed with a quiet sadness I couldn't explain.
My friends organized a surprise the day before, and I appreciate their effort. However, it felt routine, rushed, and lacked the personal touch I was hoping for. The cake was there and the wishes were given, but something was missing. I always try to make others feel special on their birthdays with gifts and gestures that reflect who they are. I had hoped for a small sign that acknowledged my love for music, which comforts me on days I feel overwhelmed and anxious.
I was grateful for everything, yet there was this lingering heaviness I couldn't shake off. Maybe it's the realization that birthdays just don’t feel magical anymore, or maybe it's the birthday blues...a mix of doubts about whether I deserve good things and that deep sense of not really belonging. Even with all the good moments, a bit of depression sneaks in making me question if I'm expecting too much or if I'm somehow ungrateful.
I question myself. Was I expecting too much? Am I ungrateful? Despite my promotion, the day still felt incomplete. I think some emotions have no clear reason..they just exist quietly to be felt.
